SHOP THE LOOK
Alright, ladies. Today is a letter to my mamas. To those that have young children, and to those that at some point feel like a failure and want to give up. I have totally veered toward fashion and beauty posts so much lately, that I’ve really been wanting to get back to some more “real” stuff. When I created this blog, I wanted it to be well rounded with a mix of everything. I wanted it to be fun and fashionable, but also real and true life. So today will be the start back of some more lifestyle posts to go along with all the cute dresses and jewelry!
Do you ever get to the day of an event or get-together that you’ve had planned and think to yourself “Ugh..I wish I wouldn’t have said yes to this. I’m totally in a pajamas and Netflix mood tonight.” If so, I’m right there with you mama! I still consider myself a “new mama” although I think that title is gone after your baby turns one (ugly cry face). But for real though- most new mamas commit to too much stuff and feel bad about saying “no” a lot of the time. Which brings us to the first rule (if you will) that I say you need to go by in order to avoid a mama burnout.
1. JUST SAY NO!
You have to learn to balance your life out between your husband, your kids, and your friends/family. If someone invites you to something, and you have any part of you that feels you may end up not really wanting to go when it comes time, then give them a “Maybe“. Let them know you’ve had a lot on your plate recently, and that you don’t want to commit and then have to let them down. You would rather give them a maybe, and then you don’t have to feel guilty on the day of if you’ve ran around like a chicken with its head cut off OR you haven’t had any alone time with your hubby and you don’t feel like using your babysitting time going to their shindig. IT’S OKAY! But don’t always coop yourself up and never enjoy adult time. It is important to have fun and carefree adult conversations!
2. SCHEDULE A WEEKLY DATE NIGHT
So Justin and I actually started doing this about 3 months ago. We decided that every other Wednesday we were going to take Harlie to his mom’s house and let her babysit while we did a date night out. The in between Wednesdays we will *try* to get Harlie down early, and do a movie (who am I kidding.. what I really mean is either a First 48 or 20/20 on OWN lmao). It’s been SO nice to know I get to look forward to something on a regular basis instead of just trying to randomly set up a sitter and pick something to do. If you don’t have access to a sitter weekly, then I would suggest saying one night a week, maybe do this on the weekends, that you pick a board game or movie or maybe even massages for each other once the kids go down. Stay up late, and sacrifice a couple hours of sleep to get in some alone time. It has really made a difference for me to know I get him to myself outside of the home. We will sometimes go get pedicures, go to dinner, take the boat out, sometimes just grab fast food and ride around. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy! I’ve been wanting to go eat by the lake one time, so hopefully we will get to do that soon one day it isn’t 100 degrees.
3. MAKE SOME “ME” TIME HAPPEN
This has to be one of the most important ones of these rules. You have GOT to make some time for yourself. I don’t care if its 20 minutes of laying on the couch with your phone turned off, or reading a chapter in your current book, or driving around aimlessly. If you don’t take time to yourself as a mother and spouse, you will slowly lose who you are as a woman. Having children completely changes who you are. I know my hormones were and somewhat still out of wack after having Harlie. My emotions are all over the place. I cry over a sad commercial, and get mad because the vacuum cleaner wasn’t emptied out from the last time. So taking time to myself each day, even if it’s a quick 30min boot camp class, it really makes a difference in my mood and how I treat Justin and Harlie. I always say working out lifts your mood, no matter how easy or hard the exercise was. It releases endorphins and elevates your mood! If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others the way she deserve. I also believe in 10mins in the morning of quiet time & a devotional. I’m currently reading “x” but I was using the First5 app and liked it for a few months!
4. LET THE CHORES TAKE A BACKSEAT
Last week I randomly got sick and I’m still not sure what I had. I’m guessing it was some sort of a stomach bug, but I’m not sure. I was down for 2 days, and wasn’t all that great by the third. I’m not a clean freak, but I do keep my house and car neat most of the time. By day 3 of not doing my routine cleaning and picking the house up, I felt lazy. I said something to Justin about the house being a wreck, and he was like “Randi, who is gonna be over here to see it besides us?” And I just sat there and was like.. well.. no one is suppose to be coming over. I’m not sure why what he said made such an impact on me, but it did. Since then I’ve told myself that I really need to stop stressing over the house being so perfect just for us three to live in it and see it everyday. I spend so much time during the week picking things up that I know Harlie is just going to start playing with again within a couple hours and take away time I could be playing with her. Or getting something else important done so that I could go grab lunch with a friend. So I encourage you this week to stop stressing over the house looking spotless, and focus that extra time you’re going to save doing something you love or getting in the floor with the kids. Unless you’ve got someone coming over, just (in Elsa’s voice) let it go!
5. ASK FOR HELP!
Ever since I went part-time with work, I felt that I should pick up more of the home workload so that Justin didn’t have to worry about that on top of his stressful schedule. But there is sometimes that I just need help. I get busy with my own schedule and days that Harlie is just being in a MOOD, I wasn’t able to get much of anything done, I need help. I think a lot of times people totally underestimate stay-at-home or work-from-home mamas. We don’t get near enough credit for what all we do every day. The saying “Mama’s don’t get sick days” is so true. Even the days I was feeling bad last week, I still had to be a mom to a certain degree. Harlie’s nighttime routine involves me and unless I’m unable to move I want to be there for that. When Harlie was a newborn and anytime my mom, Justin’s mom, or even one of my friends that came over and asked if they could help I finally started letting them. Mom would do a load or two of laundry for me and it was life saving. Especially if you’re a new mommy, let them help you! No one thinks your lazy or incapable, its freaking hard being a new parent and running on 2 hours of sleep for a week straight. You will have a weight lifted off your shoulder when you let someone help you. If no one is able to come over and help you, and you have the funds, hire someone! Again, no one thinks you’re lazy!
Hopefully these “rules” will help you or a mama out there on the verge of a breakdown breathe a little bit. I truly appreciate you all that time time out of your day to read my blog and especially those of you that leave comments and/or feedback. Have a great weekend!