I can’t believe it’s actually my first Mother’s Day, like, there’s another human who calls me mommy!
Well… not yet anyways.
I feel like every girl plays “mommy” at some point during their childhood or tween days, but NEVER understands what that role really means. I’ll start by saying I feel like I had a pretty good pregnancy except for a couple things, with the number one being back pain. It was mild with the occasional moderate days in the first trimester, but it was manageable. I got prenatal massages, went to the chiropractor, saw an acupuncturist, and was steady working out. Then I hit month five.. slowly it got worse and worse. I was limited on what I could do at the gym, but my energy was off the charts! I was like the energizer bunny, cleaning window sills, cabinets, organizing the pantry, etc. Everyday I was off work my husband would come home and ask what all I organized that day, oops. But by about 4/5:00pm I was done for the day because of my pain. Around month seven I had put a permanent palette in the floor on my side of the bed, the heating pad practically attached to me, and epsom salt baths on repeat. Then, I was one week shy of my due date when my blood pressure hit 158/98 from the pain which caused me to have to be induced. The one thing I didn’t want…
During some of my worst days, I would sometimes think why, why do I have to deal with so much pain? Should I have even gotten pregnant? Looking back now, I should have been thankful that’s all I had to really deal with after hearing stories of so many women suffering from much worse, or their babies having complications after birth. I realize now with her here just how much she was worth it, and just how lucky I am to have been able to carry a child.
I had 18 days off for the Christmas holidays and had some stuff on my list I wanted to get done including packing the hospital bags, but the rest of the time I wanted to rest and enjoy my last time off without a baby. Did that happen? That would be big fat no. I overdid myself and rested maybe two days. I needed a break from the break. Looking back I wished I would have watched more movies, cuddled with my kitties, and waited until dinner time to take a shower from being a lazy 9-months-pregnant lady.
Now, as Harlie is 3.5 months old, sometimes I’ll being starring at her and think about the holiday breaks I’ll have with her and get so overly excited. I will not allow myself to be too busy this Christmas break (or any other time off) to later regret it. She will be hopefully walking by then and I plan to have all sorts of crafts and activities planned so that not one day will be wasted with having “too much to do”.
Being a mama has brought on so many tears- happy, sad, and frustrated ones, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am so blessed beyond reason that God picked me to be her mommy and raise her with all the love inside me. Blessed that she’s healthy, always happy, and possibly the cutest! Okay, I know I am slightly biased on the last part.
To all the moms, step-moms, foster moms, and adopted moms: Y O U R O C K.
This world is a better place because of the poop changing, spit up wearing, sleep deprived, and endless loving MOMMIES out there. Happy Mother’s Day!